kids say the darndest things

2009-02-24T20:57:00.000-08:00

funny quote: trent- dad, did you have a nintendo ds lite when you were a kid? brett- trent, we didn't even have computers when I was a kid! trent- how did you get your email?

2009-02-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

last night while in the car- hailey was telling on Jack & how he had used two swear words in the morning when he was mad. the "s" word & the "d" word.
From the back seat trent yelled up in a tattle telling tone- ya -sh,dude! He said... shdude.

2009-01-28T08:09:00.001-08:00

funny quote: trent- bye jack. Jack- hey trent where are you going? trent- back to the future, duh!

2009-01-04T23:02:00.001-08:00

funny quote: trent came home from scouts tonight with Christmas cookies he had frosted. Brett- trent can I have one of these cookies? Trent- ya, but don't eat this one, or this one, or this one... they taste like puke. Brett- never mind.

2008-10-14T08:42:00.001-07:00

funny story: MOM- trent do you want to go for a ride on one of the scooters at target with me? trent- what scooters? mom- you know the ones at the front of the store, that people can ride on if the have a hurt foot? Trent- oh-- you mean those scooters that old people use?

2008-09-16T10:26:00.001-07:00

funny quote: trent- (about the olympics) I wish they had a contest to see who can go the bathroom the fastest. mom- you wish they had a peeing contest? trent- ya, I could win that one.

2008-07-06T17:19:00.001-07:00

funny quote: Mom- Trent have you learned anything at swim lessons? Trent- ummm no. Mom- have you learned to float yet? trent- no I'm too heavy! water fills my swimsuit everytime then I just sink down.

2008-06-17T14:39:00.001-07:00

Funny quote: Last night we were playing cards when trent walked up and whooops, passed a little gas. Trent: explode me. Mom: (amongst everyone's laughter) don't you mean excuse me? Trent: My engine exploded!

june 4, 08

2008-06-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

Funny story: Trent had a friend over on sat. I asked him how his school program went on Friday. this is how it went. patsy- how was your parent program yesterday? kid- good. patsy- did you play the ukulele? kid- yes patsy- did you sing? k- yes. p- did you dance? k- yes. p- did you do magic tricks or fire dance? k- ??? thinking... that's the third grade program.

2008-05-18T20:30:00.001-07:00

Funny story- Mom- Trent is that a bruise on your arm? Trent- no it's my transforming button, when I push it I transform into a dog.

2008-04-13T23:02:00.001-07:00

Funny story- Trent came to me last night with my double stick scrapbooking tape- mom will you put this all over my hands? mom- what? Why would you want me to do that? Trent - so I can climb up the walls like spider man.

2008-02-28T09:45:00.001-08:00

Funny Quote: Trent to mom- are bagels born with holes in them?

2008-02-16T22:01:00.001-08:00

Brett- trent I need to hurry because I have to go shovel the snow. Trent- Why don't our Home Teacher's do it?

2008-02-01T06:02:00.000-08:00

Funny quote: Brett- hey trent, why don't you strip down to your underwear, run outside, & scream it's summer time!!? Trent- (deep thinking... now very serious) I can't Grant would fire me.

2008-01-24T07:52:00.001-08:00

Funny quote- Trent- dad I had a bad dream last night. Dad- what happened. Trent- Homedepot was going out of business

2008-01-16T06:19:00.000-08:00

Trent to dad- why is brother petersen's last name petersen? Brett- well, because his dad's name was Petersen & his grandpas last name was petersen. Just like your grandpa's last name is messer & my last name is messer. Trent- well, someday my last name will be Johnson. Brett- Johnson? Trent- ya when I marry Lily. Brett- No then her last name will be messer too.

2007-12-30T22:09:00.001-08:00

Funny quote: Trent- do you have to do homework in Jr. High? Mom- yep Trent- I'm skipping it.

2007-12-22T22:07:00.001-08:00

We had to go to Provo because Megan's car wouldn't start so we drove by the MTC. There were missionaries walking outside & I don't know what I was thinking but I was at least curious. Of course we didn't see Brian & as we drove away Trent started to cry. We had brought his friend Lily with us & he said, "I wish Brian still lived at our house." My heart was breaking. I told him that Brian's friend Jordan was going into the MTC right after Christmas and that we could send a special package with Jordan to give to Brian from him. Lily asked, "who's Jordan?" Trent said, "Jordan is Brian's friend who has a swimming pool. Me & Jack & Brian used to go swimming there but now it's just me & Jack." Then he started to cry again.

2007-12-08T06:42:00.001-08:00

Trent- mom did you poody? (pass gas) Mom- no! Trent- did I poody? Mom- I don't know. Trent- Okay I did.

2007-12-02T08:44:00.001-08:00

Funny story: Trent- when I get home from my mission me & lily are gonna get engaged. Then we are gonna get married & move far away then she's gonna go to the hospital & pick up our babies

Features

2007-11-27T06:35:00.001-08:00

Features http://www.photomahjong.com/

2007-11-26T07:49:00.001-08:00

Funny story: While up on the roof yesterday putting up the lights... Trent- dad, Grant (our remodeling neighbor) would be so impressed if he saw me

2007-11-22T07:08:00.001-08:00

Funny story: on the way to piano this morning. trent- there's a Fed Ex truck. mom- wow that's way up there you can see really well. trent- it's heat vision mom- you have heat vision? trent- well, not yet but I'm getting it

2007-11-19T08:06:00.001-08:00

On the way home from the MTC Jack said- well i'm the oldest kid home, the king of the castle, prince of the palace. Hailey piped in- then I'm the princess of the palace! Trent- no you're the rotten egg of the palace.

2007-10-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

Brian lost Brett's extra set of car keys to the truck. He has been borrowing Brett's & Brett has had it. He said if you guys can't find the keys you can't drive the truck. Trent piped in and said. Will we have to take the truck to the junk yard.

2007-10-26T07:01:00.001-07:00

Trent had a friend over for dinner last week. This was our conversation. Friend to patsy: Did you know that cows have four penuses? Patsy- (completely shocked) who told you that? friend- my brother, that's where milk comes out. patsy- no they don't, cows have one penus where pee comes out and four nipples where milk comes out. friend- I am going to tell my brother he was wrong. side note: I couldn't think of the word utters. I guess I was so flabergasted by the whole conversation, not to mention I couldn't stop giggling. This poor kid is going to tell his whole family that I said cows have nipples!? I don't know what's worse his brother - 10 yrs. old or me an adult telling him cows have nipples. I am so embarrassed. OKAY now I am really embarrassed a friend just called to remind me that cows don't have penuses at all. Duh! They are cows... That poor kid is really messed up now. OKAY I also didn't know penis is spelled with an i. Brett just let me know that. I am really batting 1000 on this whole penis/cow subject.

2007-10-11T15:52:00.001-07:00

Funny Quote: Mom- trent, this is how the program will go for your baptism on saturday... who would you like to speak? Trent- (after much thought) Gordon B. Hinckley. Mom- he is really busy so he doesn't talk at baptisms very often. Can you think of some one else. Trent- how about Jesus Christ? Mom- he really is busy and doesn't speak at baptisms, but I bet His spirit will be there. Can you think of someone else? Trent- I'll think about it.

2007-10-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

Mom- how was your day? Trent- you forgot today was picture day. Mom- Oh No! Trent- Don't worry mom, I was still handsome.

Liver for Lunch?

2007-10-03T06:25:00.001-07:00

Mom- Trent, what was for lunch today? Trent-(with a huge smile on his face) Liver. Mom- Liver? Trent- (still smiling) that's what the lady said it was. Mom- what does liver taste like? Trent- cat food. Mom- what does cat food taste like? Trent- liver. -- silly me.

September 2007

2007-09-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

Trent to Brian while we were gone last night- It's our house. No mom and dad. they'll have to live outside. We can mess it all up, play football, and break everything. When mom and dad get home we're gonna take the house key and kick em out. Why don't you call some girls over...?

Benefits of a Debit Card

2007-09-21T07:42:00.001-07:00

Trent-Dad buy me a train set. Dad- I don't have enough money for a trains set. Trent- just use your dedit card. You can buy anything with a dedit card. Last week Trent told me dedit cards are the "fun" way to pay.

High School

2007-09-03T09:13:00.001-07:00

Brian was picking jack up at football last night & took trent in the car- Brian- have you ever been in the gym at the HS before? Trent- duh, I turned seven & boom I was here!

Grodeant- Funny quote August 07

2007-08-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

Trent-after his shower, in fresh pj's & his robe- mom smell my armpit. Mom-no Trent-guess what is on my armpits. Mom- what? Trent- grodeant! I used Jack's grodeant I was going to use brians but it was all gone.Mom-do you smell groddy now? Trent- (very proudly)no I smell like grodeant! (he also said the same things to Jack & brian's friends who got a real kick out of him)

Funny Quote August 5, 2007

2007-08-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Funny quote for the day:Last night I told trent he had to stay in his bed, he didn't have to go to sleep he could read, but he had to stay. Trent (after about 10 minutes wandering into my room) -Well, I finished the Bible.Mom- you read the whole Bible?! Trent- yep, whole thing.

Grandma's Getting Old?????

2007-08-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

Grandma & Grandpa Messer with us at the bowling alley

Funny quote for the day August 3, 2007: In the car on the way to bowling for Trent's birthday. Trent-Grandma (messer) just push the button to open the door. Don't use your hand, your getting old you know. (we have an automatic door on our van)

Funny Quote August 4, 2007

2007-08-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

Trent with Carston & Jason on Pioneer Day

Funny quote for the day:Just found out from Hailey...trent was out riding his bike stopped & had this conversation with one of Hailey's sunday school teachers.Trent-can I help you work? Neighbor- if you pull some weeds I will pay you a dollar. Trent-how many weeds do I have to pull for a thousand dollars?Neighbor- why do you need a thousand dollars?Trent- I want to get my own apartment.

Funny Quote July 30, 2007

2007-07-31T10:39:00.000-07:00

Funny quote for the day:phone conversation from seattle.Trent-can Jack take me fishing? Mom-no today is the sabbath day.Trent-it's okay, we probably won't catch any fish.Mom-no, even if you don't catch fish it's sunday, we don't go fishing on Sunday.Trent-mom,we could have fish for dinner. Mom-there is other food you can eat maybe dad can take you fishing during the week.Trent-fine but jack never does anything fun with me.

Funny Quote for the Day July 27th, 2007

2007-07-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

Funny quote for the day:Trent coming out of the shower-mom get on the scale so I can see how much you weigh.Mom-no.Trent-why not?Mom-that's private.Trent-I won't tell anybody.Mom-no.Trent-I weigh 60, do you weigh ___,___, or more than that?Mom-Trent I am not getting on the scale so cut it out.(little stink, he was really close)

I'ts a Sampson Thing

2007-07-27T12:36:00.001-07:00

This is Jack & this is his hair. It's like it's on fire...& he loves it.When I posted the picture of him at scout camp megan called me wondering what was up with his hair...I'm like what do you mean?His hair always looks like that.I guess she proceeded to call him & let him know with such gorgeous hair he should keep it trimmed & combed.Having a daughter as the oldest has it's benefits, although I truly can't complain about the hair~it could be worse~have any of you seen brett's highschool pictures?! One of the many things I have learned being a mother is a boy's hair truly is his business & there is almost never a correlation between hair & attitude unless it's my own~ attitude that is. Jack is such a great kid~I guess I need to remind megan~someday he will meet a great girl & start combing his hair. For now I will take him just like this... as he says, "it's a Sampson thing mom."

Trent Funnies

2007-07-18T08:40:00.001-07:00

I was opening a birthday card.Trent-can I open that card for you mom?I really need the money. (also)Trent-if I babysit chloe will you give me 200 bucks at the end of the week?Mom-200 pucks?Trent-BUCKS that means dollars in spanish.Mom-why do you need 200 bucks?Trent-so that I can be rich & fly everywhere in a helicopter. This picture is from the first grade opera.

More Car Trip Funnies

2007-07-16T07:34:00.000-07:00

Being in the car with our family really is fun until the last 45 minutes which is so hard it takes away from the fun part.Here are more funny quotes.Mom-brett can we stop at & get some snacks & maybe a new movie (we had already stopped at mcdonalds & to get gas)Trent- no we can't stop it's the Sabbath Day.Mom- that's true but we are on a trip & it's really hard when you are traveling.Trent-(after some thought)oh, so your going to break the rules.
Dad-Trent if you open the car door while I am driving your going to fall out & die.Trent-If I want to die- then let me die!
Brian-(after listening to a long story from Trent)-some little boys lie.Trent-are you calling me a liar? Cause if you're calling me a liar I will stop this car & come back there and destroy you.

Car Trip Funnies

2007-07-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

Funny quote for the day:there are so many from being in the car with Trent I don't even know where to start.The one big thing that sticks out in my mind is that trent constantly wanted to drive!?What- I know, it's insane. Everytime we would ask who wanted to drive (4 drivers)or pulled over he would say-it's my turn to drive or you never let me drive. Personal favorite-I'm an excellant driver give me a chance.Each time we would patiently explain that you can't drive until your 16 the whole routine- he would get it then boom next hour he would bring it up again, like it was a possability.The last time I just couldn't take it and scolded him. He started to cry. I felt so bad. It's easy to forget that being the youngest with older siblings who can do everything that seems cool really stinks sometimes.

2007-07-09T09:52:00.000-07:00

Megan came home the afternoon of the 3rd to all the festivities. When she drove up a neighbor was at the door. We were embarrased when we saw the neighbor reading all the words on her car. Megan's car had all these words on it like sexy, etc. We asked what the Heck? She had strung her roomates bra across the balcony which overlooks the boys in her ward- overnight. Knowing how much Megan hates her car being graffitied up-payback.

Trent on Baptism

2007-07-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Brett-Trent what are you supposed to remember after you get baptized? Trent- (pause) Your BB gun to shoot the bad guys!
I am worried, he is not ready to be baptized next month.
p.s.this is an older picture-he refuses to have his picture taken.

Trent & Jason Building in the Garage

2007-06-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

Trent & Brett were in the garage working in trent's "workshop" his friend Jason came over & this is what Brett overheard. Jason-Trent, I didn't come over here to work, I came over here to play. Trent-I have to work or I'll go out of business, this isn't play this is real.

mi mi's gone to college

2007-06-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

(When megan was little brian called her mi mi)Megan is a major practical joker.Many of you may know this already but this past winter she really got herself into a pickle at college pulling pranks. She and some friends made the dreaded ex-lax brownies and took them to some boys in her ward. Trust me if she had consulted me ahead of time I would have had a fit. Anyhow, according to the boys they were fine & that was that. Then the real fun started a couple of weeks later when the boys snuck into their apartment with some of the dye pack stain stuff cops use-one of the boys dad is a cop supposedly- & put it in their beds, etc. This stuff is invisible until it touches your body, then slowly turns purple, and won't come off! Little did the girls know that the boys were terribly sick for three days, taking turns all night in the little boys room, if you know what I mean. They had waited until the girls would least expect it & wanted to get them GOOD.Megan had to go to school etc. purple some of it washed off after scrubbing her skin with comet, but it took a really long time to be totally gone. It completely ruined her sheets. She told me it washes off so I put them in the washer- huge mistake. Brett had to take the whole machine apart and scour it. There are still purple spots on it. Well, here are some pictures. Other pranks she has pulled or been subject to- dirty stinky dish clothes hidden in the car, icy hot on the toilet seat(she says this is particularly painful)there's more but I can't think of them right now I'm sure I don't know the half of it.

Hailey 4 years old

2007-06-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

I thought of this funny story today.
When Hailey was four she wanted to go play at a neighbor's house. She had asked if she could walk to her house by herself. Of course, I said no but I would take her after I was done doing what I was doing. She was very impatient and mad. She kept bugging, and bugging me. I told her if she bugged me anymore she wouldn't go at all. She looked straight at me and said. Fine, but I have gum... and I'm swallowing it! This picture was taken December 2006

Trent loves the Neumeyers!

2007-06-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

Last week Trent wanted to go to the neighbors house and play with their grandson Carston. This is a little of our conversation.
Trent- can I go play with carston? Mom-why don't we have carston come play at our house? Trent- Mom, the neumeyer's house is way cooler than ours. Mom-do you like Linda more than me? Trent- well...about the same. Mom- Do they have Hailey at their house? Trent- they have POP-but right now they are out of pop because they went on a picnic and drank it all. Mom- how do you know that? Trent-I asked for some pop yesterday. Mom-do they have Jack at their house? Trent-Jack who? Mom-Jack your brother! Trent- they have a real kitchen in their basement, they have 2 big screen TV's and nintendo. They have a cotton candy machine-they must be rich.
I laughed so hard. I am happy to know that he feels so comfortable at the neighbors house, but I am nervous about what he might say over there, if you know what I mean!?

Driving to piano lessons

2007-06-24T15:39:00.000-07:00

Last summer Chloe, Trent, & I were driving to piano lessons. Chloe-wow look on that side of the street there is someone walking and listening to an ipod & on the other side of the street there is someone else walking the other way and listening to an ipod. Trent- they know how to live!

Funny quote for the day June 20, 2007

2007-06-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

Trent-Mom, max pooped in the basement. Mom-Trent are you sure you didn't poop in the basement? Trent-Mom, my poop is way bigger than Max's, it's this big and this wide. Too much information

Trent is so funny...

2007-06-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

Last week Trent & I were driving in the car alone together. This is a little of our conversation. Trent- Mom, why can't girls see me naked? Mom- Heavenly Father made everyone's body special. Our bodies are private we don't show our places that our swimsuit would cover to anyone. Trent-ok. He cracks me up.